Sunday, September 24, 2006

Shaadi Ka Interview Part:I

Shaadiyan to har kisi ki der-saber ho hi jati hain. 25-26 saal ki umra paar huyi nahin ki ye vipda paas aane lagti hai. Ab isse pehle agar aapne kuch kar kara liya ho to baat alag hai nahin to mata-pita ki sharan mein jaana hi padta hai ki babuji ab aap hi humari naiya ko paar lagao. Shadi ke is saamaajik parv ke pahle ek mazedaar saa aayojan hota hai. Jee haan sahi pahchana aapne yaani shaadi ke liye liya gaya interview.

Ab is interview ko Civil Services ki pratiyogita pareeksha se kam to nahin par samkaksha juroor aankna chahiye. Dekhiye naa kitni samaanta hai donn mein. Wahan poori pareeksha teen charnon mein hoti hai to yahan sirf interview hi teen charnon mein hota hai ( Pehle var ke pita aur unke kareebi, phir agle charan mein ghar ki mahilayein aur antim charan mein dulhe raja khud). Ab in donon pareekshaon ke parinaam ki zindagi ki disha aur dasha sanwaarne mein kitni ahmiyat hai ye to hum sabhi jaante hain.

Baat 80 ke dashak ki hai. Meri mausi ki shaadi ki batein chal rahin thin. ab ye baat kitni hasyaspad kyun na lage par mujhe achchi terah yaad hai ki ek aise hi interview mein baki prashnon ke sath ye bhi poocha gaya ki Postman par essay likh kar dikhayein. Ab unhone kya likha ye to yaad nahin par wapas aane par unki aankhein nam juroor ho gayin thin. Kuch hi saal baad humare yahan meri didi ki shadi ke liye ek sajjan ne angreji gyan jaanchne ke liye wahi purana ghisa pita prashna daaga yaani

Write a letter to your father asking him for money to meet your expenses.

Ab ye prashna, snaatak ke chaatra ke liye kisi bhi maayne mein kathin nahin hai, par jab koyi vyakti dara sahma, saja-sanwra aisi kisi visual scrutiny ke liye baithta hai to is terah ke prashnon par wo apne bhavon ka santulan kaise bana pata hoga ye sochne kee baat hai. Main chota jurror tha, par ye sab dekh ke us waqt mujhe behad gussa aaya karta . Kalpana karta ki agar sabhie susajjit paridhanon se lais ek kone mein didi logon ke bajaaye mujhe baithaya jata to meri kya dasha hoti.

Saakshaatkaar ke is pahle charan se nibat bhi lein to dusre charan mein var paksha ki mahilaaon ko jhelna padta hai. Kabhi kapde badal kar ke aao, kabhie chal ke dikhao etc etc. Do-teen saal pehle ki baat hai mere ek dost ki sis ki shadi ke silsile mein shaadi dene ke bahane logon ne khud sadi pehnaane ki zid thaan lee. Mool uddeshya to khair ladki mein kisi shaareerik khami ko dhoondhna tha.

Aur rahi var mitron ki baat to unki to chaandi hoti hai. Shauq jaanne ke naam par duniya bhar ke sawal daag lo.Ye alag baat hai ki bhale hi khud kabhi na koyi shauq paala ho.

Arranged marriage ke liye ye sare prakran juroori hain, is baat se mujhe inkaar nahin. Par ye sara kaam ek sahaj vaatavaran mein ho to kitna achcha ho. Par sahajta aaye to kaise khaaskar tab jab palda humesha var paksha ka hi bhari rahta ho. Kam se kam in anubhavon se maine yahi nishchay kiya tha ki apni shaadi ke samay in baaton ka dhyaan rakhoonga. Kitna rakh paya main dhyan aur kaisa raha mera interview ye jante hain is post ke agle hisse mein......

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Arranged marriage keliye ye sab jaroori hain? ki koi patr likhe? ye kaisa sawal hain? haan,ye sab tho maine bhi suna hain par aaj bhi yakeen nahi hota ki ladkiyaan ye sab kuch jhelthi hain,arranged marriage keliye ye jaroori hain ek doosre ko jaan na,ye nahi ke prashnapatra aur uttar deni ki competition hojaye.
I rememeber one of my friend was asked to come to the first floor to meet the ppl and when she came she was asked how many steps did she climb on the way,and she was asked to clean the rice,chawal chun.ne ki dang se ye bataaya jaatha hain ki ladki kaamkaaj kaise karthi hain,what nonsense.
hum kis jamaane mein rehte hain jahaan ladki ko koi vasthu mana jaatha hain? kya hakk hota hain ki saare sawal ussi ke sar pe hote hain?
Can a girls family ask a guy to walk and show? to change his clothes? to sing or to write a letter? i wish they do? then they will understand.
Marriage is not by any means a social obligation,its a culmination of two ppl completely,two families join to make a wonderful relationship,it becomes a concept of extended family,and for that what they need to try is if they are compatiable with eachother or not.
and i am not talking like a feminist,i am married a few months back,when my inlaws came they did come to see me,but they spoke to me abt my education and my work,and when my husband came we ended up chatting for 2hrs and when he was going back he said he felt as if he spoke to a friend and not to a bride to BE. Both the families did make sure to know eachothers background,family status or their nature,but none of what i have heard from friends or letter writing or saree changing etc etc.sad we still have such issues which are not very good to read or hear about.
I would wait for your experieces manishji.
and i am sorry for such a big comment,but somehow felt the urge to say it all.

alapana
http://aalapana.blogspot.com

Manish said...

Alaapna main aapki baat se 100% ittifaaq rakhta hoon. Arranged Marriage mein ye prakran juroori hain se mere matlab ek doosri ko family ko jaanna , samajhna aur ladke ladki ke beech ek mulaaqat se tha, na ki is terah ke ul-julool prashnon se jo nihayat hi gairjuroori aur moorkhtapoorna the.

haan ye baat jurror hai ki ye 20 saal pehle ki baat hai. Pata nahin log ab bhi is terah ke besir pair ke prashna poochte honge ya nahin.

par ladki ki chal dhal, dress badalne ki batein to main aaj bhi sunta rahta hoon jo mujhe behad dukhi karti hain.

Neptune said...

aajkal bhi aise logon ki kami nahin.
mujhe yaad hai jab meri shaadi ki baat chal rahi thi tab ek delhi college of engineering ka graduate jo 6 feel tall tha, wo aur uski family hamare yahan aaye. yeh jaante huay aaye ke meri height about 5 feet 3 inches hai. fir baar baar mujhe kabhi apne parivar ke kisi sadasya ke saath khada karte to kabhi kisi doosre ke saath, aur har baar kehte ki height kam hai. Fir chale gaye aur phone pe bole ke dobara bahar milna chahte hain. Is baar venue tha Barista. Is baar wo apne additional chacha chachi etc etc ke saath aaye aur wahan barista mein aur barista ke bahar mujhe alag alag members ke saath khada karke meri height pe tippani karne lage. Mann to kiya ke kheench ke ek thappad rakh ke doon aur dhakke maar ke wahan se bahar nikaal doon. Unke jaane ke baad mein itna roi thi...they made me feel so degraded and as if I was some vegetable that they were going to buy.

Ek DC ka engineer yeh bhi nahin samajh sakta ke 5.3 feet aur 6 feet mein kitna difference hota hai bina 15 logon ke saath compare kiye huay !!!!

Manish said...

Neptune, Its really disgusting ! Gar log jo doosron ke sath karte hain ek kshan sochein ki koyi unki ladki ke sath aisa karta to unki bachchi ko kaisa lagta....to shayad aisa bhondapan we nahin karte ...

Dawn....सेहर said...

Manish...jab mein parhne lagi to mujhe shuru mein hasyapad sa laga lekin phir....behad afsos hua bilkul yehi sochkar ke gar humein oos taraf rakha hota to kaisa hota??
Waqai mujhe to ye koi bhi baat ka gyaan nahi...arranged marriages dekhein hein lekin iss tarah se to shayad mein pehali baar parh rahi hoon aur jaan pa rahi hoon!
Itna keha sakti hoon ke meri adaton ki wajah se....anyaay ke virudh awaz oothane ki adat se mujhe zhansi ki rani zaroor kaha jata tha...aur sach....aise mein mein zaroor chup nahi reha paati thi :)
ek samajik tatva per likha lekh mujhe behad pasand aaya kyunke ye hum sabhi ke jeevan se kaheen na kaheen juda hua hai
Cheers

Manish said...

Maine bhi ye topic isiliye chuna DON ki log baag ka attitude abhi bhi poori tarah change nahin hua hai. Letter likhne wali batein to juroor khatma ho gayi hain par physical appearence aur check up ki batein abhi bhi sunta rehta hoon. Hope ki ye generation is attitude ko badal sakne mein saksham hogi.